Day 112: True Friendship

Psalm 142 Christian tradition has often viewed this psalm from the perspective of Christ’s suffering and Death on the Cross. Mention is made of someone who has been entrapped and abandoned by his friends and will face his fate alone. Christ suffered intense dread upon contemplating his future Passion, praying that the cup might pass from him. Though he asked to be dispensed from his Passion, he clearly stated that he only desired the will of his Father. The psalmist knew that his pain would be followed by joy after the Resurrection and he wished no evil upon his captors just as Christ forgave those who had crucified him. (Cf. St. John Paul II, General Audience, November 12, 2003)

(*The Didache Bible RSV-CE Ignatius Edition, 2006)

• While Jonathan protects David, Saul makes two failed attempts to kill David with a spear and then expels him from the royal court, demoting him to a lower military rank. 

• But David’s continued military success fans Saul’s envy and fear to a raging flame. 

• Saul finally snaps and issues orders to his son and his men to kill David. 

• Although Jonathan can temporarily alleviate his father’s rage and persuade him to restore David to royal service, Saul’s paranoia eventually compels him into an all-out hunt for Israel’s hero and deliverer. 

• Indeed, Saul’s hatred for David extends even to those who assist David in any way, manifested when he slaughters the priests at Nob for harboring David. 

• Besides illustrating the friendship between David and Jonathan-and Jonathan’s virtue-the account of David’s flight from Saul, which makes up most of the remainder of 1 Samuel, develops two significant themes. 

• Most importantly, we witness David’s tremendous patience and trust in God’s plans for him. 

• Instead of asserting any sort of privileged claim for the throne, David waits for God to fulfill his promise, though this waiting almost costs David his life and forces him into refugee status. 

• Even when David is twice given the opportunity to kill Saul and end both his exile and his wait for the throne, he refuses to do so out of respect for the Lord and his anointed one. 

• We cannot miss the cutting irony here, as Saul has no scruples about such matters. 

• No less important is the depiction of David as a man who lives not by bread alone but by every word that comes out of the mouth of the Lord (Dt 8:3). 

• Samuel has already told Saul that God would place on the throne of Israel “a man after his own heart” (1 Sam 13:14). 

• In his confrontation with Goliath, and throughout his flight from Saul, David proves himself to be that man. 

(*Walking With God: A Journey Through The Bible by Tim Gray and Jeff Cavins)

• Gosh :)

• We have the friendship of David and Jonathan

• We live in the 21st century and often times, when people bring up the friendship between David and Jonathan, Scripture does not back away from the fact that they truly loved each other very very much

• In our 21st century world that is so limited, we hear about this story and think it’s WEIRD

• This is not DISORDERED love

• This is not EROTIC love

• This is a DEEPER, MORE PERVASIVE LOVE

• This is FILIAL LOVE

• In The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis, he enumerated the 4 loves that the Greeks talk about

• STORGE is the love of AFFECTION i.e I LOVE STARWARS or I LOVE MASALA FRIED SARDINES!!!

•  C.S. Lewis describes STORGE as the bed of rice that you put your pad thai on (???) (I rather think of it as the garlic naan that goes with my butter chicken but hey, I’m weird like that 😉)

• Everyone experiences STORGE, the love of AFFECTION

• You don’t have to have fallen in love to experience STORGE (you just have to watch The Empire Strikes Back to experience it 🤓)

• EROS is the love of ROMANCE

• In our day and age, we HIGHLIGHT and ELEVATE EROS to such a degree

• The Greek philosophers recognized that while EROS is GOOD, it is the LOVE OF DESIRE

• It is a love that MOVES US

• It is a love the moves us to either GIVE OF OURSELVES or TAKE 

• It can be distorted

• EROS can move a husband and wife to GIVE THEMSELVES TO EACH OTHER

• EROS can also move a husband and wife to TAKE FOR THEMSELVES

• EROS, while a wonderful gift, can always be MISUSED

• EROS is not the HIGHEST LOVE

• EROS is fickle

• EROS can DISAPPEAR just as fast as it came on

• If you’ve ever read Shakespeare’s love stories like Romeo & Juliet, they are not about the ENDURING POWER of EROS, but they are about the FICKLE NATURE of EROS

• If you’ve ever read Romeo & Juliet (or were forced to in high school English class 🤪)

• At the beginning of the play, Romeo is head over heels in love...not with Juliet...but with ROSALINE

• But then he meets Juliet and now SHE is the object of Romeo’s EROS

• Shakespeare was pointing out that EROS can be good and is powerful

• BUT IT CAN ALSO BE SILLY

• When it comes down to it, EROS is CHEAP

• Person A can be in love with Person B in one moment and then in love with Person C in the next moment

• Jack and Jill end up getting married

• What do they almost always end up saying?

• “I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND”

• That’s great (and very hallmark movie style 🤪)

• Eros is great, Jack and Jill have it too

• But they have something EVEN BETTER

• Jack and Jill have this depth of FRIENDSHIP (Until Jill messed up at the well and Jack fell down the hill and then all heck broke loose...ok maybe it was Jack’s fault 🤪)

• “I am marrying my best friend today” is something most people would love to be able to say

• They recognize the depth of love

• STORGE- love of AFFECTION which is great

• EROS - love of  DESIRE which is great

• FILIA - love of FRIENDSHIP is an EVEN HIGHER KIND OF LOVE

• Virtuous Friendship is pursuing something EVEN BIGGER than the individual or the couple or the group of people 

• FILIA is that pursuit of virtue and it ENDURES (even if that friend is a Cowboys fan 🤪)

• While we have STORGE for any number of things in our lives (except eggplant 🤮)

• While we have EROS for any number of people in our lives

• C.S. Lewis points out that when it comes to FILIA, true friendship, that happens maybe ONCE OR TWICE in a person’s life IF EVER

• IT IS SO RARE

• IT IS SO POWERFUL

• IT IS SO PRECIOUS

• 1 Samuel 20 is a description of the FILIA between Jonathan and David

• This brotherhood they have united in their pursuit of glory of God

• United in their pursuit of honoring the nation of Israel

• United in their pursuit of doing great things in the name of the Lord

• United in their pursuit of DOING THE RIGHT THING

• They recognize that virtue in each other and therefore love each other and help each other

• When they say goodbye at the end of the chapter, we recognize that this love that maybe few of us can understand 

• We haven’t all experienced FILIA like this

• We haven’t all experienced FRIENDSHIP like this

• We haven’t all experienced this kind of LOVE

• If you HAVE had that love of friendship, then you know the POWER of FILIA

• It is different from STORGE

• It is different from EROS

• It is closer to the FOURTH LOVE

• AGAPE, which is CHARITY aka ONE OF THE THEOLOGICAL VIRTUES (POP QUIZ!! What are the THREE theological virtues? Answer in the Comment Section of the Facebook Group Post 😁)

• AGAPE was an idea for the Greeks and became a reality for the Christians when we saw HOW MUCH GOD LOVED US

• John 3:16 (POP QUIZ!!! What does John 3:16 say? Answer in the Comment Section of the Facebook Group Post 😁)

• Pope Benedict XVI noted that God actually loves us and has EROS for us as well

• NOT SEXUAL LOVE

• But a love of DESIRE

• EROS doesn’t necessarily mean sexual

• It can simply be the kind of love that MOVES a person out of themselves to GIVE of themselves

• The problem is, WE DISTORT IT IN TODAY’S DAY AND AGE

• Here is God who so loved the world that He GAVE OF HIMSELF

• Here is Jesus on the Cross who is GIVING OF HIMSELF

• Here is Jesus in the Eucharist who is GIVING OF HIMSELF

• There is an incredible connection between STORGE, EROS, and FILIA in the love of AGAPE

• It all comes to PERFECTION in the person of Jesus Christ, who loves us to the point of death

• Jesus calls us his FRIENDS

• Jesus gives us his SPIRIT

• PRAY FOR FR. MIKE

• PRAY FOR EACH OTHER

• PRAY AND LIFT UP ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVEN’T KNOWN LOVE, ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO WALK THROUGH LIFE ALONE

• YOU ARE ONE OF US

• YOU BELONG TO US

• YOU BELONG TO THIS COMMUNITY

• WE BELONG TO YOU TOO (WE BELONG TO THE NIGHT WE BELONG TO THE THUNDEEEEERRR!!! 😉)

Prayer by Fr. Mike: “Father in Heaven, we give you praise and glory. We thank you so much. Thank you for your word. Thank you for the gift of friendship. Lord God, we see a true friendship between Jonathan and David. We give you thanks for all the people in our lives, whether they be few or great in number, who have been loyal to us, who have been faithful to us, that you have brought into our lives and have cared for us or protected us or even just done their best to be a friend. Lord God, at this moment we pray for all of them. We pray for every person who has ever loved us, even those who have not loved us like they should have. We lift them up to you right now. Lord God, in this moment we also lift up before you every heart that is lonely, every heart that is isolated, every heart that does not and has not known friendship. We pray for all of those hearts that experience this life and walking through this world as a lonely journey, as a lonely experience, as the experience of one who remains unseen and unknown and unloved. They are our brothers and sisters and they are with us right now. As we go through this Bible in a Year, Lord God, we pray for them right now. And we pray for them in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.”